Memories
by Kayrin
Summary: Trained as a kid to be a smart killing machine, the ultimate weapon of the Western army; Shiren's forgotten everything about her childhood. What happens when Naraku arrives and her friend Kikyou dies and Inuyasha is nearly dead? And what about Kagome&co?
1. Concentrate and Listen

~~{{*}}~~

"The life you have lived is nothing compared to what you are living in the present; 

Every moment, every second. 

But never should you forget the past, 

It is a part of yourself that you won't be able to learn from others,

It's the knowledge of knowing who you are and where you come from.

Once you forget it, it's done.

Your life is divided in half, the person who lives in the present,

And the lost essence inside you that lives in the past.

Dreams are part of our subconscious,

Indirectly telling us what to do, what to believe, showing us the truth

Our heart doesn't want to believe, and our mind doesn't want to think about.

Namely, the painfulness or reality."

Now, my friends,

Concentrate and listen,

I am about to tell you an interesting story;

Where all human legends come true.

~~{{**}}~~


	2. One: Dreams and Memories

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha & co. I do own Shiren though.

Capitolo uno:  Dreams and memories

_An eight-year old inu youkai looked up at her mother and smiled. After the death of her father the pup had taken the habit of looking after her mother in everyway she could. Making breakfast, washing the dishes, cleaning some of the clothes. It had taken time before she had learned the proper way of executing the tasks, but at the end she had made it and it had all been for the best. Her mother, who had been sick and hopeless, had started smiling more often when her daughter made some clumsy mistake doing something. All the things the little pup knew had been taught her by the mother, to which she was very grateful. _

_Then one day her mother had taken her daughter in the forest to take a stroll, but when they had reached a small clearing full of flowers in bloom, Inutaisho, Taiyoukai of the West had shown up. He talked to the young's mother in a language the child had just started to learn, and therefore couldn't completely understand. She did know they were speaking of her though. As she had watched the adults speak a creepy sense of anxiety and unease filled her. The wind had been blowing gently and it tickled her skin so every now and then she would giggle, earning a questioning glare from the adults._

_It was then it started. The horrible experience of a once happy child, the day Inutaisho's dream of finding a soldier the other Lords wouldn't know how to defeat had became reality. The mother had handed her daughter to the Lord. One look at whom she was being given to and the child had understood what was happening; she started crying and yelling for her mother to help her. But all had been vain. What had been done was final; there was no turning back. As Inutaisho had watched at Lyanna, the pup's mother, he had seen the hurt in her eyes at seeing her daughter cry so openly. But political matters had always been more important than feelings, he had been sure that with some time and a lot of hard training and practicing the little creature he was holding in his arms would become a potential weapon against any type of enemy. And what a mystery she was, many researches were going to be made on her. Especially ones on why she hadn't been purified by her own blood._

_"Mama! Onegai!" Had screamed the little inu youkai. She had been struggling in the hands of the older youkai trying to reach her mother. Even though her azure eyes had stung with tears and her hands had been full of scratches she'd continued to fight against the elder's hold. Determined to go back home. Her honey colored hair sticking to her face and her cheeks damp with the salty smelling water. "Onegai!" A female youkai with black hair and brown eyes had stared up at the crying form of her daughter while she was being brought away by their Lord. Smiling one last time at the girl she'd turned away, one lone tear escaping her eyes as she'd rounded a corner, knowing she would never again see her little pup anymore. "Mama! What did I do? Was I bad?! Mama!"_

_'Nothing little one. Your only fault was being born with miko abilities.' Because that was the reason for all that had been happening, the young inu youkai had been born with strange purifying powers. But such a thing was impossible among youkai, for such a power couldn't run through the veins of one of the race it supposed to destroy. Miko were women who protected the ningen from the closest threat, demons. Hearing her daughter fell silent Lyanna looked up at the sky and said a prayer for her little child._

_Some distance away, the young youkai had still been struggling to get free. "Leave me go! I can't leave my mum alone! Mama!" The child had cried in her captor's arms until she had been hit on the neck, and unconsciousness overtook her._

*~*~*

"Mama!" Shiren woke up yelling. She feeling awful. It was a week or so she kept having that dream and every time she woke feeling like everything was being snatched from her. Like her life was being stolen. The scenario seemed familiar, yet not completely so. Could it be some part of her childhood? If so, had it really been that traumatic? Did she really want to remember?

She didn't know anything from her childhood; anything previous to her sixteen years was unknown to her. Now she was eighteen and still couldn't remember a thing. The only thing she knew had to come from her past, were her exceedingly good fighting skills and powerful magic. She didn't know how she knew the things she did or even who taught them to her, but just used them to her advantage. Deciding she wasn't going to get any sleep for the rest of the day she dressed, wrapped her light brown tail around her shoulder and started walking towards the nearest village. It was still very early in the morning, about 6a.m., but she knew the village miko, Kikyou, had to be awake. Shiren knew her to be a very morning person. Especially when _he _was around… Giggling softly she made her way in the woods as she exited her cave and sealed the entrance.

---End chapter one---     

A/N: This is a fic that has been bugging be ever since…I don't know, eternity! It was all in my head. Can you believe it? It's four months I keep daydreaming about it. Obviously the plot changed a little from the first idea. But I love this thing so much. Ah… I just hope it doesn't slow my other fics down. I already take too much updating. I guess I'll have to speed up a lil now. Yep, I have to. 

Anyway, tell me what you think won't you? ^-^

-Kayrin  


	3. Two: The consequences of love

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-yasha & co. I do own Shiren though.

Capitolo 2: The consequences of love 

Walking the usual dirty path to the village was as calm as ever. Birds and butterflies flied everywhere giving the forest an enchanted look she mused at every morning. The trees stood high and proud in their entire splendor as orange autumn leaves fell silently to the ground. Looking at the scenery that as before her Shiren started to ponder on the dream again. The girl's earsplitting screams of sorrow still echoed in her head, she could almost feel the physical pain the pup had endured while the Lord's arms kept her locked against his armor, blocking the girl from running to her mother, the feeling of bone being squeezed by hard hands, the spine pressed against the pointy edges in his armor. 

Shrugging the familiar feeling away she started concentrating on real everyday problems. Such as the bandit Onigumo. She knew nothing good could come out of him, as much as Kikyou was trying to convert him into being a good person. She could see the lust in his good eye and smell the desire in him; it made her sick. The thing that irked her most was that Kikyou didn't want to talk about it to Inuyasha. Why? He had always cared for her, even though he didn't publicly show it. Shiren knew, for she and Inuyasha had met a few times during her many journeys before meeting the priestess. They had become friends, she knew everything that had happened to him for he'd told her, she didn't have anything to tell him in return, but she gave him all her support and friendship.

Lowering her gaze to the ground she crossed her arms in her sleeves she stopped walking and pondered on how empty her life really was. Not knowing anything about herself or any other people she had encountered during her life. A person is to build knowledge of their personality and limits during the first years of life, but had she? Even if it was, she didn't remember anything so what good was what she'd learnt?  

"Oi, hi there. What's up Shiren? You're thoughtful today." Said a voice from above her, rousing her from her thoughts.

"Nothing Inuyasha, don't worry." She said looking as the hanyou studied her carefully with half-closed eyes and a thoughtful look appeared on his face. Inuyasha was the son of a dead powerful Lord who's territory had once been in Kyushu; Southern Japan. He said he didn't have many memories of his father. Well, at least they had something in common there. No family memories. Still, he still remembered all that had happened; he had probably forgotten all those things because they'd been too painful after the death of his mother. He'd lived near Kikyou's village ever since. It hadn't been till three years before Shiren's arrival he and Kikyou had met, when he'd first heard about the Shikon no Tama. She knew he didn't crave for it as much now, for any person, five years with Kikyou and not changing was something near impossible.

"Sure?" He asked again. 

"Yep, just thinking about a nightmare, nothing more," Shiren replied as she started walking down the path again, "But tell me, I heard you've decided to turn human for Kikyou. That's a nice decision. I'm sure you two will be happy together." She continued and meant every word she said, the two really were made for each other. Just as predicted, after Inuyasha had given a small nod Kikyou came walking towards them from the other side of the road with a smile on her face; it was such a refreshing view. When the hanyou was around Kikyou changed drastically, for the better, obviously. 

They held a nice conversation about the seeming peaceful time the village was passing as of late and then Shiren left the two alone to discuss. It didn't lose her ear though, the fact the two decided to meet at sundown to use the Shikon No Tama to make Inuyasha human so they could live a normal life. The youkai didn't know why, but something about it felt wrong, she had a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, and soon.

***

The farther away she walked from her two friends the more Shiren's attitude changed, her once bright eyes became dull and her smile vanished. It looked as if when she wasn't around others she couldn't be happy anymore. All the weight of not knowing any relatives, childhood friends or anything to believe in was frustrating; she didn't know if she could continue this way forever; in a human life span it was torturing, what would it be in a youkai one? She sighed as she sat on the root of a tree that overlooked a wide field that ended with a mountain with a small cave at the bottom. 

She breathed deeply again, noticing how unusually thick the air was. Suddenly she sensed a strange dark and concealed presence coming from the small cave a few hundred meters in front of her. Looking around for any being that could hold such an evil ki. Using her non-existing training she extended her senses as far as possible, straining her ears to hear the smallest of sound and her nose to catch the faintest scent. Again she noticed something at the base of the mountain; it was strange, but she decided to check it out. 

When she arrived to her destination a blast of black energy erupted from the entrance to the small cave she now recognized as Onigumo's. Closing her eyes a second too late they got the impact full force and she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming. When the force left the clearing she didn't dare opening her eyes for the hurt too much; still, she was relived all her other senses worked as good as ever. 

That was when she heard a sinister and evil laugher coming from beside her. Her nose caught a terribly foul smell and she turned to feel the youkai presence better.  "Such a pity my dear Shiren, you wanted Kikyou to let me die…and you were right if you cared for her well being; but now you're the one who's got to suffer the weight of two murders on you shoulders." He said with a voice rich of malice.

"What do you mean?" She asked, seemingly calm about the whole situation. Truth be told she was quite unsure of the events, her eyes still hurt and she was sure it was a bad sing. Plus the fact he'd said something about Kikyou not killing him. So he wanted to kill her, no, he couldn't do that, she wouldn't let him because for as powerful she was, Kikyou could never fight him, his physical strength was too strong compared to hers. 

"That today, pretty Kikyou and her nice hanyou love will die together, what a romantic end for them both. Yet I can't have you interfering, so you shall have to sleep a little, your eyes are already out, but that's not enough. You shall have to bear the fact you couldn't save your friends. I trust you to remember the name Naraku, for he's the ones who caused all this. I am Naraku, who caused and will cause terrible suffering." He answered and Shiren could hear his knuckles crackling. Ignoring it for a moment she tried processing all he'd said in a few seconds, but the only thing she understood was the death of Kikyou and Inuyasha, her only friends, and not her being put to sleep. When she opened her eyes to see the evil creature she was talking too she realized a thing: she couldn't see; she was blind. Then she felt the air being knocked out of her lungs and blackness took over her.

---

Shiren woke up the dawn of the next day and as soon as she opened her now transparent azure eyes she ran to where she sniffed Inuyasha scent to a place she recognized as the Goshinboku's ground. Feeling the hanyou's clothes she noticed his very shallow breathing and heartbeat signaling his near death. She also noticed magic in the air and found an arrow impaled in Inuyasha's heart. The same moment she smelled Kikyou's blood and burned flesh along with the vanishing presence of the Shikon No Tama. 

For the first time after centuries Shiren cried and shouted all her anguish to the world, careless of the many villagers who arrived frightened to see what was happening and of a snickering shadow that left the place amused. Her power radiated off her waves as her eyes turned blood red, yet, she still couldn't see; Naraku had damned her to blindness till his death. She chanted a spell to keep Inuyasha from dying and swore vengeance.

Naraku was the fault of everything, both her friends' death, her sadness, and her loss of sight. She kneeled under the Goshinboku and started praying ignoring all who passed, were they Kaede, Kikyou's sister, or Lord Sesshoumaru, who wanted to check if the rumors about his half-brother's death were right. Forty years she remained there feeding off her hatred and sorrow while people slowly started forgetting about her. That was, until she finished praying and decided it was time to eat something alive while training her senses now that her eyes weren't usable anymore.

---End chapter two---

A/N: Hello, after a long absence I've written something, since RIOB is a bit tougher to write than Memories so I finished chapter two for this first. Plus this story is a little nice thing I write when I can taking my time because I really like the plot and how it's going to evolve. But…I can't tell you that can I? Ehe. Anyway, don't worry, Kagome and the other shall arrive, but lets take things nice and easy, bit per bit and you'll see what I have in store for you. Oh, and yeah, Sesshoumaru made a semi-appearance too…hehe, I'm so stupid sometimes. Ja

-Kayrin


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